With all of the bad headlines out there, such as the stranded Carnival cruise ship, Jimmy attempts to give you the bright side of bad news.

Catch up on the headlines, including winter storm Nemo coverage, with Weekend Update anchor Seth Meyers.

First of all who records the news? Second, when is f*ck not going to be a blooper anymore (seems inevitable, right?) Are we going to hit peak f-bomb? Third.. all said and done, still pretty funny.

FUCK. THERE I SAID IT

This drunken (or stoned) woman who bombs the local news looks kinda like – ok, DEFINITELY like one of our favorite memes Laina Walker (a.k.a Overly Attached Girlfriend). Just a bit older.

KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD

For some reason, this Gen. Petraeus story still has some serious legs. Denver's ABC News affiliate aired this picture his biographer Paula Broadwell beside this altered book cover.

ALL UP IN MY SNATCH

Orange County Eyewitness News reporter Gustavo Almadovar has a distinct way of saying his name, at least on camera when signing off. It's like he's correcting you.

38 SECOND SUPERCUT

Interviewed in Providence, RI, a skeptical young man doesn't buy into this government propaganda known as Hurricane Sandy. Good for him.

BRILLIANT INTERVIEW

It's a bald-faced ploy to get Twitter famous, and that's what's so great about it.

"How do I monetize this?"

When you're screen testing for a pro-GOP lady, you really have to comb through those binders full of women.

"Oh, right, I'm a woman"

Play along at home with this handy bingo card featuring all the finishing moves Obama or Romney might use to celebrate winning the final debate, because it'll clearly decide the whole election.

Round 3: Fight!

Twitter parodists immediately pumped out @FiredBigBird, @JoblessJeremy, and @LaughingBiden over the last few Presidential and Vice Presidential debates. Here's the next batch for Monday.

@BriefcaseFullOfTrannies is a thing?

Nothing makes those town hall debates harder to watch than the strange townhallsfolk they find to fill the place. So here's the ten worst distractors (in GIF form!) for your amusement.

Hey look, it's "Crotch Hands"

Wil Wheaton is leading the way on the best post-debate Twitter hashtag, and it's about Barry Green, that last questioner who was so very sure he was going to nail both candidates.

"Kobayashi Maru: what's your take?"

That first guy who asked a question at tonight's debate? He's ALREADY a parody Twitter account. Internet moves fast, folks. Keep up.

@JoblessJeremy: clearly a hard worker (at tweeti

Obama and Romney are doing the best they can to win tonight's debate, but they're already both getting their asses kicked on Twitter by The CW's HIT NEW SHOW Emily Owens, M.D..

She must be the best candidate

Beyonce announced her Super Bowl halftime gig with a picture of herself in marked-up eyeblack, and we think it's a trend worth promoting.

It's "Today in Topical Eyeblack"

In the race to be first to report, some things might slip through the cracks…like actually knowing what you're talking about.

Next time, he'll actually watch it

Joe Biden couldn't have actually been listening to Paul Ryan as he laughed and took notes, so here's the Twitter account dedicated to the notes the Vice President must have been taking.

So that's what he was writing down

If you're looking for one picture to sum up Joe Biden and Paul Ryan's relationship tonight, this might be it.

Danville meets Pawnee

It's not easy to make a Vice Presidential Debate any sillier, but these GIFs do the trick.

See Joe and Paul just having a good time

Discover everything worth knowing about the only state that actually gets to decide who's going to be President.

"Wielding horrifying power every four years"

Here's hoping these young people convince you to do your civic duty, just like they…might.

"Wait, it's on a Tuesday?"

Catch up on the headlines with Weekend Update anchor Seth Meyers.

They actually agree on a lot of positions…but the discussion gets ugly fast.

"My wife is a liar"

You don't actually know what the heck is happening with that whole Syria thing, so figure out a serious situation with some unserious GIFs from your favorite sitcom (season premiere tonight).

Figure out Syria with a Liz Lemon Party

In a short hour and a half of Presidential debating, the Internet came away with two great Twitter parody accounts and a slew of other hilarious Tweets.

Enjoy them all @ this link

It's like a mixtape of the biggest stories of the week, so let us hit you up with some fresh headlines.

"Best news rappers alive!"

Whether or not you saw Justin Bieber throwing up in concert, it's time you saw the Taiwanese animated version.

Biebs spews rainbows and unicorns

Maybe all of Mitt's mistakes are his clumsy campaign staff's fault.

See why Romney's a gaffe-a-minute