Lance Armstrong's Titles Given To The Only 7 Clean Cyclists In The World



By Dan Hopper on October 24, 2012

Now that Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his 7 Tour De France wins, who officially won those races? It's time to give his medals to the world's ONLY 7 CYCLISTS who weren't also doped up.

Congratulations to these 7 drug-free bikers on their now-official Tour De France victories:

1

Squidward

Lance Armstrongs Titles Given To The Only 7 Clean Cyclists In The World - Image 2
2

This Baby

Lance Armstrongs Titles Given To The Only 7 Clean Cyclists In The World - Image 2
3

Pee Wee Herman

Lance Armstrongs Titles Given To The Only 7 Clean Cyclists In The World - Image 2
4

This Clown

Lance Armstrongs Titles Given To The Only 7 Clean Cyclists In The World - Image 2
5

The Guy From Excitebike

6

Red, The Pixar Unicycle

Lance Armstrongs Titles Given To The Only 7 Clean Cyclists In The World - Image 2
7

This Lil' Fella

Lance Armstrongs Titles Given To The Only 7 Clean Cyclists In The World - Image 2

Ooop! This just in: "Credible Sources" claim that the puppy from #7 has tested positive for blood doping on multiple occasions. He will be stripped of the medal he was just given and will be forced to spend no fewer than three nights sleeping outside the bedroom.

Dan Hopper

Dan Hopper

Dan Hopper is the Managing Editor of Jest. He used to be the Managing Editor of VH1's Best Week Ever blog, but now isn't.

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