Lance Armstrong's Titles Given To The Only 7 Clean Cyclists In The World
By Dan Hopper on October 24, 2012
Now that Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his 7 Tour De France wins, who officially won those races? It's time to give his medals to the world's ONLY 7 CYCLISTS who weren't also doped up.
Congratulations to these 7 drug-free bikers on their now-official Tour De France victories:
1
Squidward
2
This Baby
3
Pee Wee Herman
4
This Clown
5
The Guy From Excitebike
6
Red, The Pixar Unicycle
7
This Lil' Fella
Ooop! This just in: "Credible Sources" claim that the puppy from #7 has tested positive for blood doping on multiple occasions. He will be stripped of the medal he was just given and will be forced to spend no fewer than three nights sleeping outside the bedroom.
Dan Hopper
Dan Hopper is the Managing Editor of Jest. He used to be the Managing Editor of VH1's Best Week Ever blog, but now isn't.
