30 Speakers The DNC Picked
Before Joe Biden

By Alex Schmidt and Dan Hopper on September 4, 2012

Bill Clinton is doing the main Wednesday night DNC speech (and not, as per tradition, the Vice Presidential candidate), so we looked into why and found this amazing, totally real, not at all made-up document the Democrats used to choose tonight's big speaker.

Alex Schmidt

Alex Schmidt is an Assistant Editor for Jest, and regrets nothing. Nothing!

Dan Hopper

Dan Hopper is the Managing Editor of Jest. He used to be the Managing Editor of VH1's Best Week Ever blog, but now isn't.