20 GIFs Proving The Original "Total Recall" Is Untoppable



By Alex Schmidt on July 31, 2012

If it's been a while since you've seen Total Recall, or if you're too young to have been seeing R-rated movies in 1990 and never caught up, here's irrefutable GIF proof that no remake can top Paul Verhoeven's Schwarzenegger-iffic original movie.

1

Arnold Schwarzenegger Kicks Ass In It

20 Reasons Why The Original Total Recall Is Better - Image 1
Obviously. He does that in every movie, and it never gets old.

2

Arnold Schwarzenegger Doesn't Know Who He Is

That way he doesn't have to be articulate, he just needs to ass-kick his way to the truth. This is exactly how Arnold Schwarzenegger should be used in every movie.

3

Arnold Schwarzenegger Tries To Tell Himself Who He Is

20 Reasons Why The Original Total Recall Is Better - Image 2
What's better than one Arnold? A second Arnold, giving instructions to the first one.

4

Arnold Schwarzenegger Makes A Hologram Of Himself

20 Reasons Why The Original Total Recall Is Better - Image 2
What's better than two Arnolds? A third, holograpic version of Arnold, for use in late-movie fight scenes.

5

That Time Arnold Schwarzenegger Pulls The Bug Out Of His Brain

20 Reasons Why The Original Total Recall Is Better - Image 2SOURCE: Tumblr
It's so crazy, only Arnold #2 could convince Arnold #1 to do it.

6

That Time Arnold Schwarzenegger Pulls His Head Out From The Fat Lady Disguise

20 Reasons Why The Original Total Recall Is Better - Image 2SOURCE: Tumblr
Whoever was in charge of fake Arnold Schwarzenegger head special effects was working their ass off, and pulling it off with the effects technology of twenty-two years ago.

7

Sharon Stone Is Hot/Crazy In It

20 Reasons Why The Original Total Recall Is Better - Image 11SOURCE: chud.com
And then two years later, Paul Verhoeven was all, "Sharon, I've got this movie called Basic Instinct that I think you'd be great in, because I remember working with you on our unbeatable 1990 version of Total Recall."

8

Rachel Ticotin Is In It, Which Is Why You Know Her Name

20 Reasons Why The Original Total Recall Is Better - Image 21
Unless you're a big enough Con Air fan to pick out her prison guard role. Either way, good luck kicking as much ass in the Melina role, Jessica Biel.

9

The Three-Boobs Girl Is In It, When It Was An Original Idea

Yes yes, the new Total Recall promises a three-boobs girl of its own. But that really just means they're recycling old ideas. In 1990, a three-boobs girl was cutting edge weird sci-fi sexuality. You kids wouldn't understand.

10

Kuato Popping Out Of That Guy's Chest, When It Was An Original Idea

20 Reasons Why The Original Total Recall Is Better - Image 2SOURCE: Tumblr
The reveal that Kuato is a freaky chest-baby is more memorable and distinctive than cinema's first-ever three-boobs girl, which is saying something.

Comments